Let’s face it – It’s a bit tricky at the moment isn’t it?
Dining tables and bedrooms have morphed into work desks and classrooms, our old weekday routines have been flung out of the window as we yet again find ourselves weeks in to another lockdown.
The kids are frustrated, trying to learn in a non classroom environment, navigating software that was totally alien to them this time 12 months ago, spending every day alongside their siblings or in the case of an only child not seeing anyone of similar age, they miss their clubs and not spending time with their friends.
I can only speak of my experience of doing my best to support the home learning of my two children, one in primary and one in secondary. My primary school age daughter needed a lot of hand holding with her home learning in the first lockdown while my secondary school age son wanted to be left alone to get on with it as far away from his younger sister as possible.
Who knew it was possible to be irritated by the sound of someone’s breathing from over 12 feet away? Not me, until my 13 year old son highlighted the issue very loudly and repeatedly over several days. Now he works upstairs in his room everyday and so far it’s working out well.
Aside from working with clients, most of the other work associated with running my small business that I would normally do in the daytime between sessions went on the back burner as I attempted to become a home teaching assistant, IT supporter and constant supplier of snacks and drinks. I’m far from unique, chances are if you’re reading this, you too have been attempting to find balance of supporting your child or children as well as meeting the demands of work or self employment over the last 11 months.
We’ve persevered, mostly succeeded and occasionally I’ve turned the air blue and accidentally expanded their vocabulary with words which I hope they never repeat!
It’s little wonder that there has been a significant rise in children experiencing symptoms of anxiety.
Symptoms such as:
- disturbed sleeping,
- difficulty concentrating,
- changes in appetite,
- experiencing angry outbursts,
- feeling irritable,
- becoming withdrawn,
- being clingy,
- Complaining of tummy aches and becoming focused on illness.
(These are just some of the symptoms and are not listed here as a means of diagnosis)
How to help if you’re worried your child is becoming anxious
Time To Talk –
Talk with your child about how they’re feeling and let them know it’s OK to not be feeling OK all the time. Reassure them that they won’t be judged for saying how they feel and when they do share their thoughts and feelings with you ask them: “What would you like from me? Would you like me to give advice or just listen? Or help you to problem solve and come up with a few ideas?” Whatever their preference, stick to their request, if they want you to just listen then do exactly that, resist the urge to step in with advice as it may be that in that moment they just need to let it out and have a cuddle, they may come back and talk to you about it again later when they may then ask for advice. If they’d like you to help them problem solve, a great question to ask is if they were coping a bit better what would be different?
A couple of weeks ago my daughter Joss was telling me she really missed her cousin and how she really wanted to go for a sleepover. We spoke about how unfortunately a sleepover is not possible at the moment and why and then I asked her, “What could we do though to be able to see them and spend time together?” She suggested a catch up over Zoom would be fun as they would be able to see each other on screen and show each other their toys. Within an hour and after a flurry of text messages, a Zoom call had been arranged for that weekend as well as some games that they could play over video call.
This was a great result, not just because they had fun on the video call but also because it had been Joss’ idea, she felt pleased and also that she had a bit of control in her life in these times when there are so many restrictions.
Positive Activities –
Find out what positive activities you all enjoy. Sit and write out a list each of as many things you enjoy doing that you could still do during lockdown. Going on a bike ride through the woods, watching a movie and eating popcorn, a particular board game you enjoy playing etc.
If you have some jars handy you could make each person their own Happy Jar by writing out the activities on to pieces of paper, folding them and popping them in the jar. If there are no jars handy, number the
ideas on each persons list from 1 to 10 or however many they came up with. Each day or couple of days or once a week, however often you choose, pick an activity from your jar and make time to do whatever it is. If you’re not using a jar, you could used a random number generator app (there are lots of free apps available) on your phone to select an activity for you.
Keep to a regular sleeping and waking time routine –
Tempting as it may be to skip the bedtime battles by letting the kids stay up extra late and allow them to wake up by their own accord each day, throwing the routine out of the window for more than a couple of days often has a detrimental impact on mental health. Wherever possible, keep to the same bedtime and waking time each day.
If your child struggles to settle at night, pay attention to their screen time – is it that they’re exposed to blue light too close to bedtime? Maybe you could try some calming music, story time, or listening to a relaxation track in the lead up to bedtime.
Banking Sleep – The theory that we can catch up on sleep later on by having a big old lie-in at the weekend is a myth, sorry but sleep just doesn’t work that way. So much happens in our sleep each night while we rest, our brains are busy! Busy sorting through all the information from the day, weeding out what’s no longer needed and not relevant, growing new brain cells and wiring in neural pathways – and that’s just some of what our brains get up-to while we snooze. The body is also busy, healing, recovering and in the case of children – growing too! So you can see – Sleep is massively important and maintaining a good sleep routine is key to achieving healthy, restorative sleep.
When To Seek Help
If you notice your child is becoming increasing anxious and the anxiety is starting to interfere with their everyday life, it’s a good idea to seek some help.
Please feel free to get in touch if you’re considering hypnotherapy to help alleviate your child or teens anxiety. I offer a FREE Initial Consultation over Zoom which provides both you and your child a chance to meet me and decide if you would like to work with me, I will also explain how the sessions work and answer any questions you and your child may have.
